As parents of young children, we want the very best for our little ones a safe, nurturing environment where they can thrive, learn, and grow. It’s only natural to want to protect them from hurt and disappointment. But here’s a powerful question to consider:

Are we protecting them from failure or preparing them for it?

In this article, we’ll explore why allowing children to experience small, manageable failures is not only healthy, but essential. These moments of struggle help build resilience, spark problem-solving skills, and foster a love for learning that will serve them for life.

The Value of Failure: What Kids Gain and What They Miss Without It

It might feel counterintuitive, but one of the best things you can do for your preschooler is to let them fail in small, safe ways. Here’s why it matters — and what happens when we overprotect them from it.

What Kids Gain from Failing Early

Resilience

Every time a child faces a challenge — whether it’s trying to zip up their jacket or putting the wrong block in a tower — they learn to bounce back. Resilience is the ability to recover from setbacks, and it begins forming early when kids are given space to struggle and keep going.

Problem-Solving Skills

When children are allowed to face frustration and think through it, they naturally begin to develop problem-solving abilities. They learn to ask: “What else can I try?” or “How can I make this work differently?”

Growth Mindset

Popularized by psychologist Carol Dweck, a growth mindset is the belief that abilities can improve through effort, perseverance, and learning from mistakes. When kids fail and are encouraged to try again, they begin to understand that mistakes aren’t a dead-end — they’re stepping stones to success.

“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”— Thomas Edison

What Kids Miss Without the Opportunity to Fail

While it may feel like we’re being kind by removing obstacles, overprotection can unintentionally hinder emotional and cognitive development:

Fear of Trying

When children are shielded from mistakes, they may develop a fear of trying new things — worried they’ll mess up or disappoint someone.

Low Confidence

If kids are never trusted to handle their own challenges, they can begin to doubt their capabilities and depend too much on others for reassurance.

Missed Learning Opportunities

Grit, perseverance, and patience are essential life skills — but they can only be learned through doing. Taking away every frustration removes the chance for them to practice these skills in real-time.

Delayed Emotional Growth

Struggles like losing a game or not finishing a drawing as expected help kids learn emotional regulation. Shielding them from these experiences robs them of opportunities to build emotional resilience.

How to Help: Practical Strategies to Prepare Your Child for Failure

So, how do you support your child in a way that strengthens — rather than shields — them? Here are five strategies you can use right away:

1. Praise Effort Over Outcome

Instead of praising only success, celebrate the effort your child puts in. This reinforces the idea that trying and learning are more important than being perfect.

• Instead of: “Good job, you finished it!”
• Try: “I saw how hard you worked to figure that out — even when it got tricky!”

This teaches your child to value the process, not just the result.

“Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out.” — Robert Collier

2. Let Them Experience Natural Consequences

If your child forgets to bring their favorite toy to the park, don’t rush home to get it. Let them feel the disappointment — and talk about it calmly.

This helps them learn:

• How to handle frustration
• That actions have consequences
• How to make different choices next time

3. Encourage Problem-Solving

Instead of immediately offering solutions, ask:

• “What do you think we could try next?”
• “How else could we fix this?”

This encourages your child to think critically and take ownership of the problem-solving process.

4. Model Resilience

Children learn how to handle failure by watching how you handle yours. When you face setbacks, share your thoughts out loud:

• “That didn’t go how I planned, but I’m going to try again.”
• “I’m a little frustrated, but I know I’ll figure it out.”

Showing emotional honesty and determination teaches them how to persevere.

5. Foster a Safe Space for Mistakes

Children need to know that it’s okay to fail — and that they’re loved unconditionally, no matter the outcome.

How to Create That Safe Space:

• Normalize mistakes: Share your own. “Oops, I forgot my wallet! I guess I need a better system.”
• Use encouraging language: “It’s okay to get it wrong — that’s how we learn.”
• Avoid harsh reactions: When they spill or mess up, keep your cool. Focus on problem-solving, not blame.
• Celebrate courage: Acknowledge when they try something hard, even if it doesn’t go perfectly.
• Choose words carefully: Replace “You’re so smart” with “You worked so hard on that — I’m proud of your effort.”

By creating a home where failure is seen as part of learning, you help your child build self-trust and independence — two cornerstones of lifelong resilience.

Conclusion: Embrace the Learning Process

Preschoolers are at the very beginning of understanding who they are and what they’re capable of. Small setbacks at this stage are not failures to be feared — they are golden opportunities for learning, growth, and connection.

“There is no failure except in no longer trying.” — Chris Bradford

So, the next time your child struggles to solve a problem, tie their shoes, or build something new — don’t rush in to fix it. Step back. Breathe. Encourage. Support.

Because you’re not just raising a child who can succeed — you’re raising one who can bounce back, think critically, and keep going, even when things get hard.

Parent Challenge of the Week

This week, choose one moment to step back and let your child try, even if you know they’ll likely fail at first. Watch how they respond — and celebrate their effort and resilience.

Let us know how it goes in the comments — your story might inspire another parent to take the same brave step.